El Mustache es Morte
Oh.
My.
God.
We’ve all had bad days. This has been a bad week. No,that’s not enough. This has been a week of horrors.
I’ve made mistakes before. It happens. So you’d think by now that I would know that coffee always, (ALWAYS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKA!!), comes before shaving.
Last weekend I took a chunk out of my sideburns -no big deal, we just rock the goat until it grows back. But this morning I picked up my shaver, set it to “Fly Ass Mustache”, and screamed like a bitch when a hunk of my face fell into the sink. How could that happen!?!
“That” can happen when you are too sleepy and caffeine deprived to notice that you forgot to reattach the plastic clip that prevents your trimmer from becoming a shaver. Big difference between trim and shave. Let me tell you. various attempts at salvaging my manly face resulted in something that looked like a beatnik Hitler.
The wise thing to do at this point would be to shave it all off and start again. But luckily I’m not that wise. So I’m rockin’ the soul patch and these . . chin . . things . . .until the universe can realign itself.
Normally this would not be that big a deal. It’s not like I leave the house much. Oh wait . . .NYCC is tomorrow.
Fuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk . . . .
Sad . . . so very, very sad.
Maybe if I just . . .no one will notice?
I am so fucked.
IMPOSTER! Who are you and what have you done with the real Wegs!
OMG! AAHHHH!!!!
Scott, I am all too familiar with seeing the reflection of oneself staring back from the mirror in shock after a half-asleep accidental confusion between “trim” and “shave”.
In my case, I was using the trimmer on my … eyebrows.
Yeah, I shaved off most of an eyebrow once. Bald. Right down to the skin. Just before a vacation to visit family I hadn’t seen for years.
At least what you’ve been left with is symmetrical and plausibly intentional.
[...] off, Scott’s an idiot. Okay, I lied, that does warrant its own post. He’ll be at NYCC this weekend hanging out with Jetpack Press in booth #2402. Be sure to take [...]
That’s the price you pay for wanting facial hair.
Your face is BALD! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Now you know how I feel 24/7.
Dude, now we look even more alike. Good thing i’m not gonna be at NYCC, I’d be mobbed by all the Wegener groupies. Wait…where is that show again? Deviousness abounds.
Did you pick it out of the sink and give the hunk a proper burial? Better yet–plant it in the yard and nurture it into a mighty ground beard.
heh heh heh… you said beatnik hitler… heh heh
I once did the exact same thing just before our Christmas portrait session. My wife went bananas and we had to resched for the next week. Then the cards didn’t arrive on time. Suffice it to say I learned ‘coffee before shaving’.
I can just imagine Dee’s reaction.
“What happened to your face?” With a completely deadpan look.
Makes me giggle just thinking about it.
Soul patch is “teh sex”. keep it rocking, and give me a shout hen you are in NYC. let us have lunches :3
oh wait…that was you at the table? I thought I was talking to another Scott. Can I have my money back?
I’m only 2 weeks removed from a tragic trimming accident myself. It resulted in the loss of a beard, but led to the not-so-bad discovery that I can manage a decent ’stache.