Where Can I Get Some Atomic Robo?

Awesome news for those of you living empty, unfulfilled lives because your can’t find copies of Atomic Robo anywhere. I just got word that Heavy Ink placed a very large order for all issues of Atomic Robo. I know for a fact that copies of Issue #2 are getting very scarce and at this time we have no plans to reprint it. So get on over Heavy Ink and get’cher Robo on.

We’re back on Geek of Doom. This guy’s reviews always make me laugh. Its like he’s not sure if he hates us or loves us, or both. Its like an allegory of my marriage. “I love you, you jerkface!”

Over on Rack Raids there is no question about it. We have officially broken Max’s (?) mind. As well as his Viking-based ratings system.

 

I finished the Atomic Robo story for Free Comic Book day last week. I will be starting on Volume 2.1 on Wednesday. Right after I knock out some of these commissions that are hanging over my head. I promise to add pages to the gallery today.

My website has been seriously neglected as I wait in desperation for someone . . anyone! . . .to make me a new one.

 

This past weekend was totally awesome. Dorinda took off for AWP -a convention for publishers and writers. She is a total country girl and is terrified of . . well shit, now that I think about it, my wife harbors unreasonable fears regarding just about everything on Earth. So I was super proud of her for riding the train from Boston to NYC solo, figuring out the subways and Metrocard system, and then totally rocking the con and hooking herself up with several connections that will be very important to her writing career.

Originally she wanted me and the Widget to drive to NYC with her. But we are doing that next weekend for a good friend’s birthday drinkathon, and there was no way in hell I was doing the 5hr drive to NYC two weeks in a row. Especially since my options in NYC would be to A.) sit with Widget on Staten Island bored out of my skull at my Mom’s house, or B.) ditch the Widget with Gran and go with Dee to the con -and be bored out of my skull AND surrounded by thousands of pretentious poets and writers.

So in the nicest way possible I told her to get bent. And she did.

I’m so proud.

While we were dropping Dorinda at South Station down in Boston, (which I have to admit I am really starting to like better than NYC -sniff), we hooked up with Benn and Lindsey from New England Comics. We also met their respective wives and boyfriends -Liz and Alex. (and I apologize now if its “Alec”.) And I would be greatly remiss to overlook the lovely and talented Adam, who was working the store that morning. He has opened my eyes to a totally new way of interpreting Michael Bay’s “films”.

I signed some Atomic Robo’s and then we hit the Busy Bee -a fantastic little diner that is so NOT a place I should be eating at while trying to do Weight Watchers. (WW is going very well BTW.) There was bacon. I made sweet mouth love to it.

The Widget was her usual mix of unbearably cute and horrifically obnoxious when exposed to new people. She spend her allowance on weird import Japanese candy. Shit like squid flavored chewing gum, etc. I spent my allowance on a badass Hellboy action figure and Vol.2 of Darwin Cooke’s New Frontiers TPB. Brian L. needs to read these. So do all of you for that matter.

The Widget was instant BFF’s with Benn’s wife Liz. For reasons my wife has asked me not to share with the interweb, the Widget recently had some . . .complications . . .with her hair. Think farm machinery and sticking fingers in pencil sharpeners. So when we went to get our haircuts last week the Widget asked to get it short. She got a pixie, it looks fantastic, and of course she was totally abused by the little fucktards that comprise her peer group at school. She was having serious regrets until she met Liz -a charming, and beautiful woman with a killer pixie cut. The Widget has decided to tell her classmates to fuck off. I told her that, “Daddy says its okay to hit people this week.” So things should be fine. Lindsey also got an extra helping of Widget and I really hope my kid didn’t totally annoy the heck out of these folks. I had tons of fun and would really like to hang out with these guys again.

On a sad note, Hellboy lasted for about 3 minutes out of his box before the Widget broke him. I was in the middle of explaining that this was Daddy’s new toy and we need to be gentle with . . .WHAT THE FUCK!?! She forced his leg to move in a way it was never meant to move, and suddenly his pelvis and legs were scattered across the living room floor. I think I can fix it . . .

But here is a pic of the action figure. The person who this particular figure belongs to is probably far too smart to own any children, and if they do they keep the little monkeys they hell away from their toys.

“I said, skin that smoke wagon and see what happens.”

I really hope that this Craig’s List advertisement is still posted by the time you guy’s read this blog. Just in case it is not, I have copied it to the bottom of this blog. But don’t feel you need to read it. I’ve prepared a brief summary. Just in case you where thinking that you might some day want to hire an artist to work on your comic book or graphic novel you should take notes. This guy really knows how to handle us worthless art weirdoes;

“Dear untrustworthy and morally suspect artist. I am here to do you a huge favor. I am going to let one of you have the honor of illustrating my future Hugo & Eisner Award winning graphic novel.

“I would like to tell you all about it, but since you are obviously a loose lipped moron I choose not to do so at this time. All you need know is that it is darkly gothic, and totally awesome. Should you be lucky enough to survive my rigorous interview process, (which may or may not include a ropes and obstacle course, dotted with tiger pits, log traps, and cheetahs), I will tell you enough about it so that you get the general gist of my artistic vision.

“Should you, in the course of normal conversation with member of the public, even imply you are working with me on my comic book Opus I will sue the ever-loving shit out of you.

“The successful applicant shall be required to produce ten (10) finished pages a week. I do realize that this is at least twice the weekly output of even the worst comic book hack, but per the terms of our contract your art is not allowed to suck. So how you make it all happen is your problem.

“This may seem harsh, but lets be honest. Its more than you deserve. However, being the kind and benevolent writer/genius that I am, I forgive your shallow, egotistical, selfishness. And to prove my wonderfulness I intend to pay you more than you deserve.

“I calculate that at 10 pages a week you shall be done with your great labor in approximately 6 months. At which time I shall pay you slightly less than the weekly earnings of a part-time McDonald’s employee. Unless of course your art sucks. In which case I will pay you nothing!

“Please respond immediately to this advertisement as I am certain that artists of all stripe and talent levels are already throwing themselves at their computers to be the first to send me an email.

“Yours truly –Doctor Awesome.”

I just deleted 6 paragraphs of detailed explanation regarding my views on politics. I realized that A.) why would any of you care, and B.) why is it any of your business. The long and the short of it is this; I am a member of only one political organization- TrueMajority.org. They have this great little flash movie about how it would be amazingly simple to fix a HUGE amount of our problems by shifting a fraction of the DoD’s spending to other things. Not that the massive military-industrial complex that runs our country will ever let that happen . . .

I thought I would share this little movie about Oreo Cookies and the Federal Budget with you.

Okay lets run quickly away from politics now. As a person who A.) truly believes our system is broken and more than a little dishonest, B.) is fiscally conservative but, C.) a rampant social liberal, and D.) uses far too many A-B-C lists, I tend to get attacked from both ends of the spectrum. SO, moving on . . .

As some of you know, I am a HUGE history geek. I considered going to college for history actually. The early 20^th Century is one of my favorite periods and I am obsessed with it. I watched this amazing short film about an old man who was ten when Hitler came to power, grew up within the Hitler Youth, and fought the Russians. I’ve been watching a lot of stuff like this lately and it just fascinates me. We look back now and say, “How could that happen?” But its really not very hard to understand how 80% of the globe descended into chaos when you see it through the eyes of those who lives through it. It’s a beautiful retrospective that I feel is worth watching and sharing. Through Hell For Hitler. I also found a new series of documentary films called “The Nazis: A Warning From History”. If they are good enough I will post links to the episodes after I’ve watched them all.

Okay, I’ve got some commissions to get done! Catch you folks next Monday.

 

Random Splendor-

Sock Zombies. The link title says it all.

There are many things about James Brown that I dislike. Because racism and beating up on women just sort of irritate the hell out of me. But that asshole sure and shit could dance -James Brown Dance Lessons

Navy Rail Gun Destroys EVERYTHING It Touches

ImprovEverywhere pulled off a wild performance in Grand Central Station some time ago. I love these guys. My favorite was when they got a mess of people to dress in blue polo shirts and stand around in Best Buy looking like employees. It all went sort of pear-shaped.

Ah, the life of a Red Shirt.

Even as a devout lover of all things pork I find this advertisement just a little horrific.

I would read more Batman if it was all this good.

 

These rockin’ images are coming to you from the FailBlog. An entire blog dedicated to Fail. It’s the greatest. Its also one of those things that zooms around the internet in a week –I’ve gotten 6 emails with links to it.

 

**FULL TIME GRAPHIC NOVEL ARTIST

The project is a secret. It is a roughly 150 page b&w gothic graphic novel. Information on the graphic novel will be given in private. You are not aloud to leak any information on this book, only information I allow to be leaked can be talked about. Any information given without my consent will get you immedietally fired regardless of amount of time you have worked. Money will be payed at the end of the book and goes as following:

Mediocre Art (1-3 years at art school) - 400 dollars for completed book

Intermediate Art (4 years and over) - 450 dollars upon completion + full partnership

Professional Art (graduate of art school - professional level art) - 600 dollars upon completion and full partnership

Proving your methods: Three pictures must be shown at the start of the interview in a gothic sense to them. Any interview over the phone or online may be done, however pictures must still be provided for hiring. After the full book has been completed money will be rewarded to artist.

For partnership deals: The finished book is being given to DarkHorse comics as a pitch for a new graphic novel series. If they do not accept money will still be rewarded and completing more books will still give you pay.

Please respond on the email provided for information on this. The actual job is called “Project Phantom”.

NOTICE: By coming for work you are subjecting that until the completion of the book all rights are upheld by original author. Any information leaked will be held as a direct attack to the publication of this book and will be prosecuted by law.

Provided work: At least ten pages a week must be completed, this should have a completed book in about 6 months (give or take length of book) depending on the speed of the author. Artist will have almost full control over number of pages and artistic design of pages (i.e. number of panels and pictures unless specified). The script is written in movie script format.

* Compensation: see above (partnership will give you half of the values from each sold book. If the profit can not be split down the middle it will be split into smaller and bigger half, the bigger going to the original author)

* Telecommuting is ok.