365 Reasons To Love Comics

Y’know what? Comics Should Be Good.

I was really surprised to learn that IGN voted Atomic Robo Runner-Up for Best New Book of 2007. Considering that I though all of IGN’s reviews of the book had been lukewarm at best, this was a very pleasant surprise.

So get this; You all know that my X-360 died. I’m still steaming over this. Microsoft told me to give them 3-5 business days to get a box to my house so I could ship the busted 360 back to them. Last Friday was Day 5. It was also the day we were leaving for NYC. Every bump, thunk, or truck passing in the street had me out of my office sprinting for the front door.

The box did not arrive before we had to leave. I was sad. Very sad.

But I would adapt. My father-in-law would be feeding Mrs. McCheezburerHead while we were away and I could ask him to retrieve the box and leave it on the kitchen table. But Dad is like . . .I dunno . . .a million years old. Dorinda’s next oldest sibling is in her late 40’s, and there are 2 more after her. We are roughly the same age as most of Dee’s nieces and nephews. So yeah, her folks are what you might call geezers.

Not wanting to confuse Dr. Befuddled, I thought I would call Microsoft and get a tracking number for the box, so I could check with UPS and know that it was delivered to the house before asking Dad for help.

Long story short –Microsoft sucks.

The box never shipped to my house. It went to Bumfuck Maine! Granted it did get to New England, so that’s something. I guess.

For some stupid-ass reason the “auto-correcting” software that X-Box’s Customer Support staff uses kept “fixing” my address to say that I lived in a different State. And no matter how many times the friendly and desperately helpful guy named Mark overrode the software manually it always “fixed” itself in the end.

“We’re going to need an alternate address,” he says. “How about where you work?”

“I work at home.”

“Uh. . .”

Eventually we settled on sending it to where my wife works which, for reasons that make no sense to anyone but the madman she works for, is a company “no-no.” Well you know what? I’ve had to sit through staff holiday parties for years, enduring cash bars, the occasional bad dinner companion, terrible DJ’s, karaoke, and staff skits! (I shit you not. Staff skits.) My faith in the survival of our species is seriously shaken every year. You one me one Bossman!!

So today (Monday) is my new Day 5. If that muthafunkin’ shipping box doesn’t arrive I WILL drive to California and cram that stupid X-box down some hapless retard’s throat. Preferably a Microsoft employee, but I won’t be too picky by that point.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We did. The first ever New York Wegener Family Lamb & Ham was a big success. Actually it turned into the Lamb & Ham & Cow when it was discovered than below the defrosting leg-o-lamb there was also a semi-thawed hunk of roast beast. The only downer for me was that I got sick the day we drove down to Staten Island, and its only now that I’m starting to feel much better.

My brother handled all the cooking and the boy outdid himself. In the 5 days we were there I think I consumed 8 sticks of butter and 4 pounds of chocolate. As usually, one of the Christmas Eve highlights for Dee and I was watching as much of the VH-1 I Love The 80’s as we could. Goddamn I love that show. I need to find it on the internet so I can watch it here at home. I Love The 90’s just isn’t as good for some reason. The 80’s were just totally ridiculous whereas the 90’s just seems to be filled with douche-bags (from a Pop-Culture point of view).

I received some good swag this year. Obviously nothing comes close to the big HDTV I bought myself to enjoy my new X-Box Live subscription on -but that’s a gapping puss-filled wound right now that I’d rather not rub salt on. I try not to even go into the living room as it makes my stomach flip just to look at the big beautiful thing sitting there without a purpose.

From the family I scored such sweet items as a gravy boat, a sweater that fits all funny and makes me feel even lumpier than I am, and pirate themed jammie-pants. The skull & crossbones glow in the dark. Robo’s letterer also hooked me up with a great little handbook entitled; How To Survive A Robot Uprising. Its a gem. We laughed a lot.

I guess that by the time I post this it will be New Years Eve. For the first time in about a thousand years Dorinda and I are going to a party. That should be fun. . . and excellent fodder for next weeks docudrama blog.

I’ve seen a bunch of movies in the past few weeks. Movies, like comic books, have become increasingly difficult for me to enjoy over the years. I find it increasingly difficult to derive simple pleasure from them, as most of my attention is focused on how they are made –the camera work, the pacing, the lighting, etc.

Having said that though, the Widget and I loved Bee-Movie; fun story, excellent writing, and beautiful animation. I haven’t enjoyed a CGI movie this much since INCREDIBLES. Definitely for kids, but really well done. Adults can and will enjoy this movie.

I thought Beowulf was a lot of fun, though the leap from Beowulf the Monster Killer to Beowulf the Demon Humper really needed a MUCH better transition. The CGI “people” are only slightly creepy for being too damn real looking. I’ve actually tried to read Beowulf before, but frankly it was mind bendingly boring in the literal translation. I know the basic outline of the epic though and that’s about all the filmmakers knew either. But who cares, it was a good story and a well done film.

The Golden Compass blew chunks –avoid it at all costs. Visually it blew me away. But so did the recent Star Wars movies, even as they dropped trow and took a steaming dump on one of my favorite SF trilogy ever. I find it hysterical that Christian groups are up in arms about the anti-Christian themes of the story (actually, if those dopes had paid attention they would see that its really an anti-authoritarianism message). They are all but absent in the movie, but from what I here are fairly in-your-face in the books. Putting that aside however, there are plenty of reasons not to see this movie that don’t involve the Church at all. The pacing is terrible, the plot fairly muddy, and despite containing some of the coolest fantasy/sci-fi concepts that the masses have yet to be exposed to, it is utterly unengaging. And finally –Sam Elliot. The man cannot act. He just plays “Cowboy Stereotype Guy”, like he does in EVERY other film he’s in. I kept expecting Patrick Swayze and the rest of the Roadhouse crew to appear in the background somewhere.

I really liked I Am Legend. Will Smith did a pretty good job and it was great fun to see what a big budget and CGI could do to one of my old favorites –The Last Man On Earth. Is this latest interpretation true to the book? Only in the broadest sense. But then, the book had people dying and coming back as vampires . . .who could be warded off my garlic. So frankly, a little creative license is good in this case I think.

I did have some issues with it –like how did Will Smith live long enough to build himself a science bunker while Manhattan was crumbling around him, (though the military could have had that in place already I guess). More annoying was how did the woman who rescues him at one point know where he lives? Sure he gave her an address, but she’d only been in NYC for a few hours, (and speaking only from limited personal experience), my map reading skills are fairly awful when being chased through a dead city by feral vampire things. My final issue was Smith himself. I love and hate him. His goofy smile is just too damn irresistible and he can act when given proper direction, but a medical officer in the US Army just shouldn’t talk like the Fresh Prince. Still, I really enjoyed it and will probably see it again. maybe even in a movie theater and not on some shady website.