Halo 3 : The Halo of Lame

The only thing that sucks about working until 3AM is getting up again at 7AM to take your kid to school. On a scientific note the experience has added a new technical term to my vocabulary: Vomit Tired. As in “I am so tired that I think I might deposit the content of my stomach onto my keyboard”.

I officially declare today, Monday October 1, 2007 to be a day of rest.

Last week I was all a flutter to get my hands on HALO 3. Today can say I will be happy to never see this lameoid game again. The immense amount of hype surrounding this game is totally unfounded. I finished it in three sittings and I was left feeling hollow and cheated as the end credits rolled.

It wasn’t a bad game. But there was nothing outstanding about it either. The controls were okay, the graphics were okay, the weapons okay, and the story . . . unimaginative but functional. Previous titles like Lost Planet, Gears of War, Crackdown, and Ghost Recon: Advanced Warrior (1 & 2), all blow HALO 3 out of the water, in my opinion.

Besides the fact that all these games had better controls, graphics, and arsenals, the thing that really establishes HALO 3 as a monument to mediocrity in my mind is the story. It failed on every level to make me give a damn about Master Chief and his war against some of the stupidest aliens ever conceived. Even after reading all the back-story fluff on the interwebs.

What chaps my ass about this though is how many HALO fans I have spoken with, (and consequently been crucified by), who just don’t care or don’t get it. The trend with 3^rd generation games is all about the multi-player game, either on-line or just at home playing with a few friends. They don’t seem to care that its just one more in a faceless horde of FPS frag fests. In fact, that seems to be all the brain dead idiots want.

This makes me angry. Its like comic books in the 90’s: all fluff and holographic foil covers and absolutely no substance. But what happened to compelling stories?

The PS2 has a host of games that are great (far better than anything the old X-Box put out) precisely because of the solid stories that they involved. The Ratchet & Clank, or Jax & Daxter franchises come to mind –both solid games with really engaging story lines. One of the few great games put out on the old X-Box and later ported to the PS2, Psychonauts, is another great example of a well built game wrapped snuggly in the warm blanket of a damn good story. Without the story there is no sense of suspended disbelief, and without that there’s just nothing to get excited about in my opinion.

The overwhelming trend in video game design however is away from solid stories and all about the multi-player frag fest. And for me this new trend is deeply disappointing. I’ll be playing Katamari on my old PS2 while my new $500 paper weight collects dust on the entertainment unit.

I give HALO 3 the following Rating: Windows Vista 2-point-suck.

Hey, who wants awesome?! I got awesome!! Wizard Magazine interviewed Joe Palooka, my good friend and co-creator of Atomic Robo, in their most recent issue. They thoroughly loved it. They are not online, but I’ve been provided with scans of the pages. Page 1 & Page 2.

And remember, all you need for purchasing Atomic Robo #1 & #1 can be found RIGHT HERE. Can you believe that we’ve only got nine more days until it hits the stores? Finally!

As usual Brian said lots of nice stuff about me in the interview, and as usual it made me smile in the way Dorinda used to smile when we were kids and I would bring her home oodles of flowers from the flower shop I worked at. Back before we were parents and we both gave a crap about that mushy stuff.

I try to say nice things about Brian as well, but my mastery of the English language is somewhat less amazing than his and it never seems to come out right. But I’m going to make another effort right now. But to properly put my totally righteous and only slightly homosexual love for Brain into perspective a little background is called for.

Two years ago when the idea of actually being a professional comic book artist suddenly seemed like a possibility I was struck with a conundrum. I had long ago decided that most comic books were just mindless garbage, so why would I want to do that?** To put that in perspective, so is 90% of most entertainment media –just go flip through your cable channels for a few minutes if you think I’m wrong. Or go to Blockbuster or Netflix and carefully study each film available to you. You’ll feel dumber by the minute.

So I was determined to not work on crap. Which is easier than it sounds when some of my parallel goals involve eating and not losing my house. Luckily for me I haven’t said yes to any projects that I haven’t thought were solid, good pieces of work. Yet. But I digress . . .

So I sat down and asked myself, “What makes a good comic book?” Solid stories and good art were obvious. But what really seemed important to me was interesting characters that anyone could relate to on some level. If you didn’t have the right characters an otherwise beautiful work of comic book art would eventually fall apart. And what I really though was important was to have characters that ignored the reader’s age. Something timeless and accessible. Leave the insufferably snarky “graphic novels” with their lame hipster art school geek styles on the shelves at Barnes & Noble. I want comics for the People.

With that in mind I spent several months working on ideas, throwing them out the window, and working on more ideas. Eventually a really lame short story that Chris Yost and I did for fun called FADE: OBLIVION became the seed of my side project/back-burner/may never see the light of day book HEXKBREAKERS INC. Somehow the big breasted, gun wielding, latex wearing sex bomb named Fade evolved into Lucy Nocturne –the cute skatergirl witch that is scattered throughout my Sketchy Business gallery. But what does all this have to do with Robo, right?

So along comes the Clevinger. Not only is he a science AND history geek like me, but he also has a similar take on what a good comic book should be. And he tells me about this idea he had for a book with a really goofy name: Atomic Robo. Once the awesome-train that is Atomic Robo left the station there was no stopping it. Brian had brought to me EVERYTHING I loved about comic books –pulp action, adventure, science fiction, and most importantly, a character that is totally inhuman, yet more human than anyone I know. Oh yeah, and fun. Remember when comics were fun? Do you remember when you were a kid and you watched Raiders of The Lost Ark? You were so excited by it and you looked around for more of the same . . . only to realize that there was no “more of the same”? It was alone in a vast sea of not-so-great action adventure movies. Well shit, if no one else is going to make more of this for us to enjoy, We’d just do our best to make more ourselves.

What most write-ups about Robo say at some point or another is how well the art compliments the mood of the book. Fair enough, but what no one comes out and says directly is how that art that so fits the book is directly inspired by the guy writing the scripts. If there are every any little moments in Atomic Robo when you catch a subtle gesture (not too many of those in my goofy art), or a facial expression that makes you grin, or any of a hundred little things that make flat, two dimensional art suddenly come alive on the page –that all comes directly from what I am feeling/seeing as I read Brian’s scripts. Its a lot like how sometimes I almost squeeze the life out of Widget because I love her so much. That is what Robo makes me feel a lot of the time.

Brian said something really nice in Wizards that actually made me get a little lump in my throat. He said that while he had been working on Robo for over ten years, and I had been involved for just over one year, it felt to him like I had been there all along. (Or he said something similar to that like, “I just can’t get rid of this guy. Wegener won’t leave me alone!”.)

I’m not exactly sure what I mean by this, but there was a point early on when I suddenly “got” what Robo was all about. All the pieces slid into place and there he was. I felt like I had come home to a place I didn’t even know I had left. And if all goes well, I’ll never have to leave it again.

So thank you, Brian. Thank you so much. I’m so glad all those other artists were just too damn busy to give you the time of day.

As a side note I should also say that I have been totally blessed with good writers/partners. Chris Yost was a HUGE help and inspiration when I made the plunge into self-employment. I still can’t get over the fact that he came to me with Killer of Demons. I found that book to be a huge challenge at times, and I am so happy with the way it all came together in the end. I can’t wait to see it in print come January. Phil Hester –can you believe this guy let me draw a story about the WRETCH?! Jason Frank who brought me Jenny Everywhere (another very cool character!) and who is more than just a friend. He is my original bearded booth bunny. Mike Oeming and that super secret thing we are working on –OMG. And now Steve Tschirhart (whose name I don’t even need to look up in Gmail to spell correctly anymore). I never thought I would like zombies. He makes me want to hug them all.

**Okay remember before when I said most comic books suck? Another great benefit of doing what I do these days is that I have learned how wrong that is! Or, to put it a better way, I’ve learned that there are a decent number of really fantastic books out there and some of the most talented and underappreciated artists are quietly taking their dreams and putting them on the page for all to see. I am constantly in awe of what I see from these people. its both inspiring and intimidating as hell.

Okay on a totally less g-hay note, I was at GraniteCon yesterday. Originally I wasn’t planning on going –I don’t know why but Concord NH creeps me out. But when the guys at Double Midnight emailed to offer me a table how could I say no? Hell WHY would I say no to a free chair to park my ass in for the day? The chair in my office needed some alone time anyway.

Despite its small size and the amazing weather we had yesterday, it was really good. I was very busy, (in fact I had to take a sketchbook home with me), and I met a fist full of new Robo-lovers who had discovered us via the great Wizard article. Sold some pages (which is rare) and did a lot of fun sketches. Best part –the pizza. The Boston ComiCon may have the greatest bathrooms in the history of indoor plumbing, but Chris, Scott, and the absentee Brett provided me with the tastiest pizza this side of Park Slope. The best sketch of the day was easily the Iron Man I did for Chis. I wonder if he could scan that for us . . ?

Switching gears again; have you guys seen Eureka? It is possibly the greatest show on TV right now. And yes, I know Heroes is back, but Eureka lacks the lame superhero/soap opera drama that so often makes me wish Syler would just hurry up and eat everyone’s brains. So I like Eureka just a tad bit better than Heroes. It’s the 21st Centurey’s answer to Twin Peaks and Northern Exposure. With a bit of Maxwell Smart thrown in for good measure. You can watch all 11 episodes of season 2 at that link I just gave you. The video quality is very good –way better than the major network’s websites.

I think in large part I love Eureka because it feels like Atomic Robo on a lot of levels.

Okay guys that’s all I got. I’m tired as hell.

Let me dig out some Random Splendor for y’all:

Dave’s Long Box. “I’m going to review my comic book collection, and you’re going to like it.” Its true. Check out Nostolgiametrics: The Science of Today for Yesterday’s Crap.

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This is why FanFic is the worst thing to ever happen to the written language.

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My Mom sent this one in. So you’d better like it.

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And this is why I love RPGs, but don’t actually play them anymore.

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Speaking of RPG Geeks. This one’s for Kubrick and Whitey.

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Y’know, I consider myself to be a pretty middle of the road guy. I like gay people. I like invading small countries to “protect” their oil. Best of both worlds right?

But I really fucking hate Republicans. Like want to punch them in the face everytime they open their big dumb childish self-centered mouths kind of hate.

Democrats are just such a bunch of pussies that they are beneath my scorn.

Let the nasty emails and comments begin . . .NOW.

(PS I wont read them AND I can edit your posts. Muahahahahahah!)